affordable salon quality hair dryers

I've found that there are some excellent affordable hair dryers that can give you salon-quality results right at home. For instance, the Revlon Volume Booster (1875W) is great for quick drying and volumizing. The Slopehill Professional Ionic Dryer (1800W) features high-speed drying and minimizes frizz. The Conair Double Ceramic Hair Dryer uses even heat distribution for less damage. If you need versatility, the Wavytalk includes multiple attachments for styling. These options, alongside others, provide customizable settings to suit various hair types while keeping within your budget. There's plenty more to explore about these fantastic dryers.

Key Takeaways

  • Affordable hair dryers like Revlon and Conair offer powerful motors for quick drying, ensuring salon-quality results without breaking the bank.
  • Many models feature ionic technology, which reduces frizz and enhances shine for healthier-looking hair.
  • Multiple heat and speed settings cater to diverse hair types, allowing for personalized styling experiences.
  • Lightweight and ergonomic designs improve maneuverability, making extended use more comfortable.

Revlon Volume Booster Hair Dryer (1875W)

revlon 1875w hair dryer

For anyone seeking voluminous lift and quick drying, the Revlon Volume Booster Hair Dryer (1875W) stands out as an excellent choice with its powerful motor and effective ionic technology.

This dryer not only dries my hair rapidly but also adds bounce and body, making it feel salon-fresh.

I love the volumizing finger diffuser that helps define my natural waves, and with three heat and two speed settings, I can customize my styling to fit my hair type.

The cool shot button is a great feature, as it locks in my look perfectly.

Plus, its lightweight design makes it easy to handle, and the ergonomic layout of the buttons guarantees comfort during use.

Overall, it's a fantastic tool in my hair care routine.

Best For: Those seeking an affordable hair dryer that delivers salon-quality results and enhances volume and body in their hair.

Pros:

  • Powerful 1875W motor dries hair quickly, even for thick textures.
  • Volumizing finger diffuser defines natural curls and waves for added style.

Cons:

  • Some users report lukewarm heat settings that may not be effective for all.
  • Concerns about build quality and durability have been raised by a few customers.

Slopehill Professional Ionic Hair Dryer (1800W)

ionic hair dryer 1800w

The Slopehill Professional Ionic Hair Dryer (1800W) stands out as the ideal choice for anyone seeking a powerful yet lightweight tool that delivers fast drying and styling without breaking the bank.

With a high-speed motor reaching up to 18,000 rpm, it dries hair in just 3 to 5 minutes, even on thick, wavy hair.

I appreciate its design, which includes two concentrator nozzles and a diffuser attachment for versatile styling.

The three heat settings and a cool shot button help me control the temperature and wind speed easily.

Plus, its lightweight build makes it comfortable to handle.

With effective ion technology, I notice less frizz and smoother hair after each use.

It's truly a fantastic value!

Best For: Individuals looking for a high-performance hair dryer that is lightweight, efficient, and budget-friendly for quick styling.

Pros:

  • Powerful 1800W motor dries hair quickly in just 3 to 5 minutes, even for thick, wavy hair.
  • Ions technology reduces frizz and enhances hair texture for smoother results.

Cons:

  • Some users find it slightly top-heavy, which may affect comfort during extended use.
  • While quieter than older models, it may still be louder than some premium hair dryers.

Conair Double Ceramic Hair Dryer with Ionic Conditioning

ionic ceramic hair dryer

Looking for an affordable hair dryer that combines powerful performance with advanced ionic conditioning?

I found the Conair Double Ceramic Hair Dryer to be a fantastic option.

With its 1875 watts, it dries my hair quickly while minimizing damage and boosting shine.

The double ceramic technology creates even heat, so I get fast drying without hot spots.

I love the three heat and two speed settings, which cater to my hair type perfectly.

Plus, the cool shot button helps lock in my style.

Its lightweight design makes handling easy, and the removable filter extends its life.

While it can be a bit noisy, it's a reliable choice for anyone wanting salon-quality results on a budget.

Best For: Those seeking an affordable yet effective hair dryer that delivers quick drying and enhances shine with minimal damage.

Pros:

  • Powerful 1875W motor ensures quick drying, saving time for busy users.
  • Ionic conditioning helps combat frizz and enhances shine, leaving hair smoother and healthier.

Cons:

  • The cool setting may be warmer than expected, which might not fully lock in styles.
  • Some users found the concentrator nozzle difficult to attach and detach, impacting usability.

Wavytalk Professional Ionic Hair Dryer with Diffuser and Concentrator

ionic hair dryer bundle

With its powerful 1875-watt motor and versatile attachments, the Wavytalk Professional Ionic Hair Dryer is perfect for anyone seeking quick drying and salon-quality results at home.

This hair dryer features an advanced aerodynamics design that cuts down drying time while also reducing hair damage.

It comes with three attachments: a nozzle for precision styling, a diffuser for curly and wavy hair, and a comb for straightening. The diffuser helps minimize frizz, making it great for thick or unruly hair.

With three temperature settings and two airflow speeds, I can customize the heat for my needs.

Plus, the lightweight design and ergonomic grip make it comfortable to use, making this dryer a fantastic value for anyone's hair care routine.

Best For: Individuals seeking a powerful and versatile hair dryer that delivers quick drying and salon-quality results at home.

Pros:

  • Lightweight and compact design ensures comfortable handling during use.
  • Includes multiple attachments for diverse styling options, catering to various hair types.

Cons:

  • Some users report concerns about the size of the diffuser.
  • Attachment teeth may have rough edges, leading to potential discomfort.

REVLON Infrared Hair Dryer (1875 Watts)

powerful infrared hair dryer

For anyone seeking a powerful yet affordable hair dryer, the REVLON Infrared Hair Dryer (1875 Watts) stands out with its advanced infrared technology that maintains moisture balance while drying.

This dryer features a ceramic coating, which helps reduce heat damage, leaving my hair smooth and shiny.

I love the tourmaline technology, as it cuts down on frizz and static, making my hair look healthier.

With two heat and speed settings, plus a cold shot button, I can easily customize my drying experience.

The included concentrator and volumizing finger diffuser help me achieve my desired style.

It's lightweight and has a long cord, making it easy to handle.

Overall, it's an excellent choice for anyone wanting salon-quality results on a budget.

Best For: Those seeking an affordable hair dryer that delivers salon-quality results with advanced technology for healthy, shiny hair.

Pros:

  • Infrared technology helps maintain moisture balance and prevent over-drying.
  • Lightweight design with a long cord allows for easy handling and convenience.

Cons:

  • Some users may find the heat settings insufficient for very thick or coarse hair.
  • The noise level may be higher compared to premium models.

INFINITIPRO BY CONAIR Hair Dryer (1875W Salon Performance)

powerful salon quality hair dryer

The InfinitiPRO by Conair Hair Dryer's powerful 1875W AC motor makes it the ideal choice for anyone wanting salon-quality results at home without breaking the bank.

I love how it dries my hair up to 50% faster, which saves me time during my busy mornings.

The ionic technology helps reduce frizz by up to 75%, leaving my hair smooth and shiny.

With three heat settings, two speed options, and a Cool Shot button, I can easily lock in my style.

The included diffuser adds volume to my curls, while the concentrator helps me achieve sleek looks.

Although it can feel a bit heavy, its performance and affordable price make it a fantastic option for anyone looking to elevate their hair care routine.

Best For: Those seeking salon-quality hair drying results at home, especially individuals with various hair types looking for speed and efficiency.

Pros:

  • Fast drying time with up to 50% faster performance due to the powerful AC motor.
  • Ionic technology significantly reduces frizz, resulting in smooth and shiny hair.

Cons:

  • Weight of the dryer may be a drawback for some users during extended use.
  • Attachment fitting issues have been reported by a few users, affecting ease of use.

Conair 1875W Full Size Hair Dryer

conair 1875w hair dryer

Boasting 1875 watts of power and ionic conditioning, the Conair 1875W Full Size Hair Dryer is perfect for anyone looking to achieve fast drying and reduced frizz without breaking the bank.

This dryer features tourmaline ceramic technology, which helps minimize damage while enhancing shine. I love that it offers three heat and two speed settings, making it suitable for various hair types.

The cool shot button is a fantastic touch for locking styles in place, and the removable filter helps keep the dryer running smoothly.

Plus, its lightweight design makes it easy to handle. With a nine-foot cord, I can move around freely while drying my hair.

Overall, it's a well-made, effective dryer that delivers salon-quality results on a budget.

Best For: Those seeking an affordable hair dryer that delivers fast drying and reduces frizz for various hair types.

Pros:

  • Well-made with tourmaline ceramic technology for less damage and more shine.
  • Lightweight design and 9-foot cord for easy maneuverability.

Cons:

  • Some users report durability issues, including smoke after prolonged use.
  • Concerns regarding cord length and compatibility with UK electrical systems.

SHRATE Lightweight Ionic Hair Dryer with Diffuser

lightweight ionic hair dryer

Designed with travelers in mind, the SHRATE Lightweight Ionic Hair Dryer with Diffuser packs powerful performance into a compact, easy-to-carry frame.

Weighing less than a 500ml bottle, it's perfect for tossing in my suitcase without taking up too much space.

With an impressive 1800W output, it dries my hair quickly—just 1-2 minutes for short hair and 8-10 for longer locks.

I love the versatility it offers with three nozzle attachments: a diffuser for curls, a smooth nozzle for sleek styles, and a styling nozzle for extra options.

The multiple heat and speed settings, along with a cool shot button, help me achieve salon-quality results at home or on the go.

Overall, I find it a fantastic value for its performance.

Best For: Individuals seeking a lightweight, powerful hair dryer that is perfect for travel and versatile styling options.

Pros:

  • Lightweight and compact design makes it easy to carry and pack for travel.
  • 1800W powerful performance significantly reduces drying time, leaving hair shiny and soft.

Cons:

  • Some users report attachment stability issues, noting that attachments may spin during use.
  • Limited brand recognition compared to higher-end competitors, which may affect buyer confidence.

Hair Dryer with High-Speed Brushless Motor and Diffuser

high speed brushless hair dryer

For anyone seeking a quick and efficient drying solution, this hair dryer with a high-speed brushless motor and diffuser delivers fast results in just 2-5 minutes.

With a powerful airflow of 36m/s and a lightweight design, I find it easy to handle.

The negative ionic technology releases 500 million negative ions, which helps reduce frizz and keeps my hair shiny and healthy.

Plus, the intelligent temperature control measures the air temperature over 100 times a second, preventing overheating.

I appreciate the quiet operation at only 51db, making it perfect for early mornings.

With multiple speed and temperature settings, along with a diffuser for different hair types, it's versatile for all my styling needs, whether at home or on the go.

Best For: Those looking for a fast, efficient, and versatile hair drying solution that enhances hair health and minimizes damage.

Pros:

  • Powerful drying speed with a high-speed brushless motor, reducing drying time significantly.
  • Negative ionic technology that helps reduce frizz and promotes shiny, healthy hair.

Cons:

  • Lightweight design may feel less sturdy for some users.
  • Higher price point compared to traditional hair dryers.

REVLON Essentials Compact Hair Dryer

revlon compact hair dryer

The REVLON Essentials Compact Hair Dryer is perfect for travelers seeking powerful performance in a lightweight design that fits effortlessly into any bag.

With 1875 watts, it dries my hair quickly, saving me time during my busy mornings.

I love the two heat and speed settings, which let me customize the drying experience based on my hair type.

The anti-slip bumpers offer a good grip, so I feel in control while using it.

Plus, the cooling option helps prevent overheating, which is a nice safety feature.

I appreciate the hanging ring for easy storage, making it convenient to tuck away in my bathroom or gym bag.

Overall, this dryer is a fantastic value for money, delivering salon-like results without breaking the bank.

Best For: Travelers and individuals seeking a lightweight, powerful hair dryer that provides customizable drying options and salon-quality results.

Pros:

  • Lightweight and compact design makes it ideal for travel.
  • Powerful 1875 watts for quick drying and efficiency.

Cons:

  • Some users desire better protection in packaging upon delivery.
  • May not be suitable for those who prefer a full-sized dryer for at-home use.

REVLON Turbo Hair Dryer with Ionic Technology

ionic turbo hair dryer

With its Ionic Technology that fights frizz and enhances shine, the REVLON Turbo Hair Dryer is perfect for anyone looking to achieve salon-quality results at home.

The 3X Ceramic Coating guarantees even heat distribution, which helps to reduce damage while drying my hair quickly.

I love the Turbo Heat button that boosts airflow, drying my hair up to 50% faster. Plus, the Cool Shot button locks in my style beautifully.

This dryer's lightweight design and soft-feel handle make it easy to maneuver, even during longer styling sessions.

The variety of 3 heat and 2 speed settings allows me to customize my drying experience.

Overall, I find the REVLON Turbo Hair Dryer to be a fantastic value for its performance and durability.

Best For: Those seeking a high-performance hair dryer that delivers salon-quality results with minimal drying time and frizz control.

Pros:

  • Ionic Technology effectively combats frizz and enhances shine for smooth, healthy-looking hair.
  • Turbo Heat button allows for faster drying, saving time during styling sessions.

Cons:

  • Short cord may limit maneuverability in larger spaces.
  • Some users report wear on plastic components after regular use.

Remington Damage Protection Hair Dryer with Ceramic + Ionic Technology

ceramic ionic hair dryer

Offering advanced Ceramic + Ionic + Tourmaline technologies, this Remington hair dryer is an excellent choice for anyone seeking fast, frizz-free styling while minimizing damage to their hair.

With 1875W max power, it dries my hair quickly and efficiently.

I love the 3 heat and 2 speed settings, which let me customize my styling experience.

The cool shot button is great for locking in my look.

Plus, the lightweight design makes it easy to handle, even during longer sessions.

The included diffuser is perfect for my curly hair, ensuring gentle drying and defined curls.

Overall, I find it highly effective and a fantastic value, especially compared to pricier models.

It's a solid choice for various hair types!

Best For: Those seeking a versatile hair dryer that provides fast, effective styling while minimizing hair damage, suitable for various hair types, including thick and curly hair.

Pros:

  • Lightweight design allows for comfortable use during extended styling sessions.
  • Customizable heat and speed settings cater to individual styling needs.

Cons:

  • Some users find the placement of the cool shot button inconvenient.
  • May be considered too large for travel purposes.

KISS Pro Tourmaline Ceramic Hair Dryer (1875 Watt)

kiss tourmaline hair dryer

For anyone seeking an affordable yet powerful styling tool, the KISS Pro Tourmaline Ceramic Hair Dryer delivers impressive performance with its 1875 watts and versatile heat settings.

With three heat levels and two speed options, it caters to different hair types, including thick and curly hair.

The cool shot button helps lock in styles for a polished finish.

I love how lightweight it is, making it easy to handle, and it comes with seven helpful accessories, like straightening combs and a diffuser.

The tourmaline ceramic technology reduces frizz and boosts shine, giving my hair a healthy look.

While some users mention the button placement can be tricky, overall, this dryer offers solid value for achieving salon-quality results at home.

Best For: Those seeking an affordable and effective hair dryer that delivers salon-quality results at home, suitable for various hair types including thick and curly hair.

Pros:

  • Powerful performance with 1875 watts and multiple heat and speed settings for versatile styling.
  • Lightweight design for easy handling, making it comfortable to use for extended periods.

Cons:

  • Button placement on the handle may lead to accidental setting changes during use.
  • Cord length could be longer for added convenience during styling.

High Speed Ionic Hair Dryer with Diffuser

ionic hair dryer diffuser

The high-speed brushless motor in this ionic hair dryer makes it the perfect choice for busy individuals who want to dry their hair quickly without sacrificing quality.

With an impressive 110,000 RPM and 22 m/s wind speed, it dries my hair in just 2-8 minutes.

The 1500W power and intelligent temperature control help prevent heat damage, while the advanced ionic technology releases 200 million negative ions to reduce static and enhance shine.

I appreciate the four temperature and two speed settings, which let me customize my drying experience.

The included diffuser is perfect for maintaining my natural curls.

Plus, it's lightweight and quiet, making it ideal for daily use.

Overall, this hair dryer offers salon-quality results without breaking the bank.

Best For: Individuals seeking a quick and efficient hair drying solution with minimal heat damage, especially those with curly hair.

Pros:

  • High-speed drying: Dries hair in just 2-8 minutes, saving time during busy mornings.
  • Customizable settings: Offers four temperature and two speed settings for a personalized drying experience.

Cons:

  • Handle size: Some users may find the handle diameter larger than what they are accustomed to.
  • Longevity concerns: Mixed reviews regarding durability, with some users experiencing issues after a few months.

Professional Ionic Hair Dryer with 2200W Motor

powerful ionic hair dryer

With its powerful 2200W motor and innovative HeatPro technology, this Professional Ionic Hair Dryer is perfect for anyone seeking salon-quality results at home.

It features multiple settings, including three speed and temperature options, plus a cooling function.

The lightweight design makes it easy to handle, reducing fatigue during use.

I appreciate that it dries my hair quickly—often in under 10 minutes—leaving it smooth and shiny.

The negative ions help reduce frizz and enhance hair health, while the included wide bowl diffuser guarantees even heat distribution.

Additionally, the quieter operation is a huge plus, making my styling routine more enjoyable.

Overall, this dryer combines performance and user-friendly design, making it a fantastic choice for budget-conscious individuals.

Best For: Those seeking a high-performance hair dryer that delivers salon-quality results quickly and efficiently at home.

Pros:

  • Powerful 2200W motor dries hair quickly, often in under 10 minutes.
  • Negative ion technology reduces frizz and enhances hair health for smoother results.

Cons:

  • Some users reported color discrepancies and issues with packaging condition.
  • Button placement could be more intuitive, as suggested by some users.

Factors to Consider When Choosing an Affordable Hair Dryer

affordable hair dryer selection factors

When I'm choosing an affordable hair dryer, I consider a few key factors.

Power and wattage can really affect drying time, while technology and features may enhance my styling experience.

I also look at heat and speed settings, attachments, and the overall design to guarantee it feels comfortable to use.

Power and Wattage

Choosing the right hair dryer means paying close attention to wattage, as it greatly affects drying time and hair health.

Most hair dryers range from 1800 to 2200 watts, and higher wattage usually means more power and faster drying. For example, a dryer with 1875 watts works well for all hair types, including thick and wavy hair.

When I look at hair dryers, I often notice that higher wattage models can dry my hair in just 5 to 10 minutes. This is a huge time saver, especially on busy mornings.

On the other hand, if I choose a lower wattage dryer (below 1800 watts), I risk longer drying times, which can mean increased exposure to heat. This could potentially damage my hair over time.

It's also important to balance wattage with heat settings. I prefer models that offer adjustable heat settings, as they allow me to manage how much heat my hair gets while still drying it efficiently.

In the end, finding the right wattage and heat settings can make a big difference in achieving healthy, salon-quality results at home without breaking the bank.

Technology and Features

Understanding the technology and features of affordable hair dryers is just as important as considering wattage, as these elements can greatly enhance the drying experience and overall hair health.

One feature I always look for is ionic technology. It helps reduce frizz and static by emitting negative ions, which results in smoother, shinier hair. This is especially helpful for anyone dealing with unruly locks.

I also prefer dryers with ceramic or tourmaline technology. These materials distribute heat evenly, minimizing heat damage and promoting healthier hair. It's comforting to know my hair isn't getting fried during drying sessions.

Another feature I find essential is the cool shot button. This releases cool air to help lock in styles and add shine after I finish drying.

Plus, lightweight designs make a significant difference, especially during longer styling sessions. It's much more comfortable to handle a lighter dryer!

Heat and Speed Settings

Selecting the right heat and speed settings on an affordable hair dryer can make a significant difference in achieving ideal results for your specific hair type.

Most hair dryers come with 2-3 heat settings and 2 speed options, giving you the flexibility to customize your drying experience. If you have thick or coarse hair, a higher heat setting can help speed up drying time. On the other hand, if your hair is fine, sticking to a lower heat setting can prevent damage.

The ability to adjust airflow speeds is equally important. A gentler speed setting is perfect for delicate hair, while a high-speed option can get the job done quickly when you're in a hurry.

Many dryers also feature a cool shot button, which releases cool air to help lock in your style and reduce frizz after drying.

Choosing a hair dryer with both variable heat and speed settings enhances its versatility. This way, you can find the perfect combination that works best for your hair type, achieving salon-quality results while minimizing heat damage and keeping your strands healthy.

Attachments and Versatility

First, I recommend checking for multiple attachments. A concentrator nozzle is great for precise styling, while a diffuser works wonders for enhancing natural curls. Combs can also help straighten hair, giving me more options for different hairstyles.

Next, I think about the heat and speed settings. Adjustable settings allow me to customize the drying experience based on my hair type and the style I want to achieve. This is especially important when I'm working with various hair textures.

Another key factor is a removable filter. This feature helps maintain the dryer's performance by preventing lint buildup, which can affect airflow and reduce efficiency over time.

Design and Ergonomics

When choosing an affordable hair dryer, I always prioritize design and ergonomics to guarantee a comfortable styling experience.

A lightweight design is essential for me, as it helps reduce arm fatigue during those longer sessions. I find that being able to maneuver the dryer easily makes a big difference.

Ergonomic grips are another key factor. I want to make sure my hand feels secure without any discomfort, especially when I'm styling for a while.

It's also important to pay attention to the placement of buttons on the handle. I prefer intuitive placements that prevent accidental changes to the settings while I'm in the middle of styling.

Additionally, I appreciate a compact size, which enhances portability. This feature is super convenient for travel or just storing the dryer without losing performance.

Finally, I always look for a long cord length. It gives me the flexibility to move around freely while styling without feeling restricted.

Keeping all these design aspects in mind helps me choose a hair dryer that delivers great results while being comfortable to use.

Noise Level Considerations

Many people overlook noise levels in hair dryers, but I find it essential for a comfortable styling experience. When I'm drying my hair, I want to enjoy the process, not feel like I'm in a noisy salon. Noise levels can vary quite a bit; some models hum along quietly at around 51 dB, while others blast away at over 70 dB. That can be really disruptive, especially if I'm in a shared living space or have sensitivities to sound.

I've noticed that many modern hair dryers come with noise reduction technology, which makes a big difference. These dryers balance powerful airflow with lower noise levels, allowing me to dry my hair quickly without feeling overwhelmed. It's impressive to see how advanced engineering can cut down operational noise by up to 42% compared to older models.

When shopping for an affordable hair dryer, I always consider its noise level. A quieter dryer not only makes the styling experience more pleasant, but it also helps me avoid disturbing others.

Ultimately, a good hair dryer should make my routine enjoyable, and a low noise level is a key part of that.

Price and Value Comparison

To find the best value in affordable hair dryers, I focus on key factors like wattage, features, and user reviews that directly impact performance and durability. Most affordable hair dryers range from 1800W to 2200W. Higher wattage typically means faster drying, which is something I always look for.

Next, I check for multiple heat and speed settings. This versatility helps me customize my drying experience based on my hair type and the style I want to achieve.

Advanced technologies like ionic or ceramic features are also important. They help reduce frizz and heat damage, which is a big plus for anyone wanting healthy hair.

I also consider the overall design. A lightweight and ergonomic dryer makes it easier to handle, especially during longer styling sessions.

Finally, I explore user reviews. They often reveal how durable and reliable a dryer is over time. Affordable options can vary in quality, so I pay close attention to what other users say about their long-term experiences.

Frequently Asked Questions

Can Affordable Hair Dryers Really Produce Salon-Quality Results?

I've found that affordable hair dryers can indeed produce impressive results. They often have features that help minimize damage and enhance shine. With the right technique, I can achieve salon-quality looks without breaking the bank.

How Long Should a Budget Hair Dryer Typically Last?

I once had a budget hair dryer that lasted two years, like a trusty old car. Typically, a good budget dryer should last around 1-3 years, depending on usage and care. I've learned to treat mine gently.

Are There Any Safety Features to Look for in Budget Hair Dryers?

When I shop for budget hair dryers, I always check for safety features like automatic shut-off, overheat protection, and a cool shot button. These can prevent accidents and guarantee my hair dries safely and efficiently.

What Is the Ideal Wattage for a Budget-Friendly Hair Dryer?

Choosing the right wattage for a budget-friendly hair dryer is like finding the perfect spice for a dish. I've found that 1800 to 2000 watts offers a great balance of efficiency and drying power without breaking the bank.

Do Affordable Hair Dryers Come With Warranties or Guarantees?

I've noticed that many affordable hair dryers do come with warranties or guarantees. It's a relief, as it shows the manufacturer's confidence in their product, giving me peace of mind with my purchase.

Conclusion

So, if you're ready to swap your hair dryer that sounds like a jet engine for something more budget-friendly, these picks have got your back.

You won't need to sell a kidney to get salon-worthy results at home. Just imagine drying your hair with one of these gems while sipping coffee, feeling like a superstar, not a wind turbine.

With the right dryer, you'll achieve those luscious locks without breaking the bank—or your eardrums!

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